can’t change others

It’s been a while since I posted a great article in a while; this one came in my inbox a couple of days ago. I just got around to reading it today – and it’s especially pertinent as I prepare to attend a academic coaching summit on Sunday to talk about “coaching” practices in higher education.

One of the interesting conversations I have with people – and especially students – their peeps. Last week, when I presented to a group of Hispanic/Latino students, one came up to me afterwards and asked for my advice on how to get their best friend to change their attitude. My answer? Can’t do it! They have to take the responsibility to make the change themselves. You can lead by example, but you can’t make them change. It’s got to be something they want to do. If they are sucking the life out of you (“energy vampires”), run away and find a more supportive, positive, growth-minded group. And while you’re at it, take a look in the mirror – you might actually be the problem!

Anyway, Mark Mason (one of my favorite authors) just wrote the following article:

Made me think hard, not only in my work as a coach and facilitator, but also as a colleague, husband, and father.  Plus, his humor and thought process make me laugh!

So, if you’re in the “change people” business, STOP!  Read the article and work on yourself instead!

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