the year of you, day 42

Thursday, February 11, 2021

Meditation: In the Stillness: Liquid Mind –

Question: What incident from your past would you least like people in your life today to know about?

Answer: This is another hard question, one that I’ve been avoiding like the plague. I have shared it in a few intimate conversations, but I guess if it’s my job to be open and vulnerable, then here goes. When I was younger living in New Jersey, I was sexually abused by a neighbor. It’s one of those memories that you really try hard to get rid of, but every now and then I can picture myself back in that situation with him…and just wonder “why?” It only happened a couple of times, but I never said a word to anyone for years and years until I shared it with my ex-wife many years later. I don’t even remember how it came up, but I know that we talked about it once or twice. I’m sure she wondered what kind of effect it had on our relationship, since she IS my ex-wife…but we never went to a therapist to address it. I have shared the experience with our (Rebecca and I) previous couples therapist and our current couples therapist, but we’re still working through it.

I remember the first time I shared this “incident” in public several years ago…I was a mentor in UNCG’s Minority Male Mentoring Program called “Rites of Passage.” I loved that Program, having the opportunity to connect with minority young men at a deeper level. Anyway, we had a session on black males and sexuality – and I decided to share my story about this abuse with the group. After sharing my story and after we finished the program, several young men in the group came up to me to thank me because they had gone through a similar situation and didn’t know what to do. Hearing one of their mentors shared such a story gave them a person that understood them and could help them deal with the pain. It was definitely one of those moments where I know God put me there for a reason, to help these young men deal with the struggle of sexual abuse. No, I’m not a counselor, but sometimes people just need someone to listen, a shoulder to cry on – and that’s it. I was glad I could serve in that capacity. We don’t need to be fixed, we just need to know how we can move through struggle and come out better on the other side.

I’m sure if you read this it might be hard…trust me, it was hard to write. But I also know that I had to write it, to get it out there for others to read. Again, if this post helps one person, then I’ve served well. I asked myself the following question when I started this particular post: “Is what I’m about to write moving me towards becoming the best version of myself and profoundly serving others? Yes and Yes. Then it become easier to share. If you read this, I appreciate you taking the time to hear me out…I’m am grateful and appreciate you.

Other Stuff

After writing what I share above, I needed something to life my spirits and put me back in the right frame of mind. I meditated to this morning’s wonderful song, then decided to pick something motivational and inspirational to listen to – and came up with this:

Every time I watch this, every time I show it in class, it always inspires me. And I really LOVE the last line of this video: “You are the author of the book of your life.” It’s so true. So, what do you want your book to say? Is it a story that you’re proud to share? If so, great; if not, change it today. No matter what, keep moving forward.


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