A couple of days ago, I was reading an online newsletter from Vanessa Van Edwards, author of the “Science of People.” I was intrigued by the title of her post – “My 3 Favorite Questions to Get to Know Someone.” Since I am a big fan of asking powerful questions, I decided to open the email and read this particular post.
In essence, the three questions were create to start deeper conversations with people. As she says in her post, “These aren’t your typical small-talk questions – they’re designed to help you skip the surface and dive into the good stuff. Without further ado, here are the three questions (along with my answers):
- What is the most exciting thing in your life right now? Right now, I’m preparing for a keynote speech at the North Carolina Community College Senior Administrators Conference a week from today (Tuesday, March 25th), where I’ve been asked to deliver a speech on purpose. I believe that my job is to help these administrators reconnect with purpose in their own lives as well as provide tools to help their constituents do the same. Not only have I created several new “purpose and meaning” activities for them to try, but it has also help me deepen my understanding for why I am doing this work. And that’s really exciting to me?
- What’s your biggest goal right now? My biggest goal has nothing to do with #1. My biggest goal right now is to drop my weight to 190 so that I can start playing my best tennis and pickleball. Imagine carrying two ten-pounds weights as you try to move around the pickleball/tennis court – not easy, my friends. I can tell that I’m moving better than last year, but I know that I am no where near the level of movement that I need to be. When I can consistently run everything down, I know that my body is better.
- How do you feel most misunderstood? It’s funny…I’ve created many activities and tools to help people find purpose and meaning in their lives. Like, lots and lots of activities and tools!!! And I am willing to give away all of it for free, but only to those people obsessed with purpose and meaning like myself. Many, many people have shared how I should charge for this information, but I cannot justify a charge. Right now, I’m on a mission to serve as many colleges and universities help their students, faculty, and staff explore and express purpose and meaning so that they can help others do the same. I don’t need money, I don’t need fame, I just want to do good. I truly believe that every person that walks into the door of a college/university should be able to define purpose and meaning in their own lives, then pay it forward by helping others do the same. And like I shared, every person deserves that opportunity.
Most people I know tell me that I could be making so much money doing this work, facilitating in-person and online workshops, through online course, and by writing books. But money is secondary…purpose and meaning work is what I was put on this earth to do. Wanna join me?
What would your answers be to the three questions? Feel free to share…
Most exciting – doubling and tripling down (in retirement whatever that is) on LEARNING more and more jazz guitar. It’s an infinite art form, and infinitely challenging quest!
Biggest goal – Really nail down the financial dimensions of funding retirement for my wife who is still working- when, when to sell house, where to move, how to invest, etc. Money is something which many academic types (like me) have never really explored and can have a fear driven relationship with. I want to dive in, take ownership, take charge, get uncomfortable, etc.
Biggest goal 2 – Explore ways to facilitate political and religious tribes reconciling. We cannot go on with this division and animosity in this country. The stakes are too high. I want to stop complaining, stop living in fear, and do something that facilitates hope, reconciliation and a future for our kids, country and planet.
Misunderstood- wow – not sure.
For many years, like Bill, I believed that universities should teach purpose, self discovery, self actualization, etc. Not just as a side show or one off.
I understood that higher education was about folks getting jobs, and about disciplines. But I also saw it as about transforming consciusness. As a quest in hero’s journey terms. I was a true believer in this possibility and in a visionary FYE movement.
I tried to champion, articulate and facilitate this mission – especially in the context of FYE – but largely failed. I was an outlier.
I felt tolerated (very interesting, Greg) but not heard or understood. Rather – a curiosity of sorts.
I gradually lost faith in universities as transformative institutions, and began to see them more as mere businesses staying afloat, retention and graduation machines, institutions responding and bending to whatever social forces keep them going.
Go alongs vs. leaders. Stay between the lines vs. visionary. Mundane. Practical.
Over the years, seems to me, the great art and the great leadership, hss usually come from outside institutions – not within them.
That will likely continue to be true.
Great questions!
These are great answers, knowing you so well. I hope that I can help/support you in your journey, even if it just means have deep conversations. Hope that works for you!
Most exciting – retiring in June!
Biggest goal – designing then next stage of life
Feel most misunderstood – Why family like some of my 21 cousins matter to me and I’m willing to travel to connect.
Thank for sharing. Still trying to figure out your answer to the third question. Another conversation!