the year of you, day 35

Thursday, February 4, 2021

Meditation: At the Center is Love: Liquid Mind –

Question: Describe your earliest memory.

Answer: I’m not going to lie – this was a hard question to answer because I didn’t have many pleasant childhood memories; most of the memories I had were based on pretty traumatic events. So I’ll choose one that was a positive in a warped kind of way. When my parents moved to a new neighborhood in the mid 70’s – so that my sister and I could go to school in a nicer school district – we went from an all black neighborhood to an all-white neighborhood. My first year in middle school sucked BIG TIME! I was harassed because I was one of the only black kids in my classes. I spent most of my days being bullied by this one kid. Now, I was very much an introvert, so I just took it all in…but because I was beat a lot growing up, I had this pent-up anger, just ready to BLOW! And one day, I was getting bullied by this one kid – and I went off on him! I know I broke either his nose or his jaw, lots of blood, and lots of pain (on his part). For me, it was like an outside experience, where I was watching me hurt this kid, all of the anger and rage coming out against him. I didn’t feel any emotion or remorse around it; it was just something I had to do. Needless to say, I had to go to the principal’s office because of the fight and was going to be expelled. My dad actually showed up and defended me – for the first time in my life – explaining that the other kid had been bullying me for months – and I finally had enough. In the end, I didn’t get expelled and was allowed to come back to school without missing a day. Because of that incident, I never got bullied again. To this day, I always wonder if something traumatic happened to me or someone I love, would I go that crazy again. I know there’s a lot of pent up emotion in there, but I imagine that I have better means to control it now than in the past. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the movie, “A Time to Kill” with Matthew McConaughey, Samuel L Jackson, Sandra Bullock, and Kevin Spacey (click here for the trailer:, but it’s about a black man who decided to take the law into his own hands and shot two white men for raping his daughter. Every time I watch that movie (and even when I watched the trailer earlier today), I couldn’t help but wonder how I would handle that kind of situation. You would think that you’d be rational and level-headed, but after living through that period in life, plus seeing what’s going on in this country today, it just makes you wonder…and truly understand why people are so angry. But going back to the story…it was the FIRST time that I saw my dad defend me – and it was for a violent act. I think I’ll just leave it at that…

Other Stuff

This week, I’ve been putting together a few different documents about Life Design Catalyst work…and the foundation of this work centers around meaning and purpose. I have my own definitions for both and what makes them distinctive, but I thought I would share an interesting article that also addresses the difference between the two. If you believe that they are one of the same, please take a look at this article, it may help you define the difference between the two. Here’s the link:

And I believe there’s a connection between what I shared above and the article. If you have any thoughts about the two, please share in the comments! And check out the movie…if you’ll be able to stomach it. There’s some pretty graphic scenes in the movie that will tug at your gut!


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