Monday, June 28, 2021 (Day 179)
Relaxing Music for the week: From the Silence: Liquid Mind (8:30) – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozXOCagXK1A
Question: What feels unforgivable to you in a relationship?
Answer: Breaking my trust. I invest a lot of myself in relationships, giving the best of me that I can give. However, I would expect the same. And when someone decides to either stab me in the back or they say will give me their best and then don’t, then that breaks down the trust and I have a hard time wanting to spend time with you. I think that’s why I have so few close friends, because I have such high standards for myself and expect the same from others. Maybe that’s asking a lot, but it’s how it is for me. And the good thing is that I get to meet quite a few great, great people because Life Design Catalyst work brings out the best in people – or I get to see their most vulnerable, honest side. And that’s definitely a plus. One of the defining characteristics that people say about me is that what you see is what you get. I’m a pretty transparent guy; I try to present me as me, my most genuine , authentic self. Turns some people off, connects me deeply with others. I would rather know that you don’t like me up front, that way I won’t have to deal with you. What I hate – which I have found a lot in 32 years in higher education – is that people are nice to you up front, but stab you in the back when you leave the room. And that, again, is a break of trust. I know that a part of me wants to leave higher education because of the politics, especially for a black male, but I also know that I have been given a gift to help young (and old) people get clear about themselves and their life in order to create meaningful academic, career, and life plans. And if it’s not me, then who will it be?
My favorite author (Mark Manson) in his Monday post this morning (How to Reinvent Yourself) shared two different topics that I think a lot of people might find interesting. They are short reads (a couple a minutes each max), but definitely illustrates his points well. The two topics that you might want to check out: (1) Try on an Identity, and (2) Expertise or Jack of All Trades? You can find them here:
- How to Reinvent Yourself – https://markmanson.net/newsletters/mindfck-monday-89
I’m especially interested in the second topic because it’s something that’s near and dear to my heart. My interesting journey started as an academic advisor, spending most of my time helping students develop their schedule, register for classes, and construct their 4-year degree plans. Not the most exciting of tasks, at least for me. While performing my advising role, I dabbled into teaching an intro computer class, then running a computer lab, then teaching a sport sociology and a sports business planning class. And that’s at the start of my higher education career. At UNCG, I was tasked by my former Dean to impact our students by doing something different than all other traditional advisors. So, I started two small group coaching programs, one for undergraduate students, one for graduate students. That turned into a class (our “What Could I Do With My Life” course), which then turned into a Program and additional courses. I also started to dabble in entrepreneurship, first taking a class, then coming in second in a business plan competition, then receiving a fellowship to create an entrepreneurship course (“Purpose-Driven Entrepreneurship”), which lead to my work helping students create Side Hustle businesses. So you can see, I started out as a specialist, but turned it into a variety of different experiences. As someone interested in continuous learning and growing, I’m sure I’ll start another adventure before the end of the year that will take me in another direction with Life Design Catalyst work.
As you can see, I really liked this article. Short and sweet, but really pertinent.