the year of you, day 343

Friday, December 10, 2021 (Day 343)

Relaxing Music for the week: Night Light: Liquid Mind (11:13) –

Question: In which areas of your life does your future feel foggy?

Answer: Right now, I feel like most areas of my life are foggy. My situation at work is really dictating my fogginess right now, with all signs pointing towards me leaving UNCG sometime in 2022. If you asked me when was the last time I had a positive experience at UNCG, I can’t actually think of one, especially since the pandemic hit in 2020. It’s crazy to think that I haven’t had a positive UNCG experience since Dean Celia Hooper left UNCG, I think in 2017. It’s been ALL down hill since then. And putting this Life Design Catalyst Training together has been nothing but a challenge at EVER turn! I’m at the point now that I’m just paying for the workbooks and snacks out of pocket because I just don’t want to deal with the hassle (it’s actually bullshit) that I’m going to have to go through to get reimbursed – which is no guarantee. To think that I have my own budget from money that I brought into the University – and I have to get permission to use ANY of it. Here’s an example of the BS – for the Training, I usually purchase fresh fruit (bananas and oranges) for participants to eat as snacks. I was told that Wal-Mart and Food Lion are not appropriate vendors; I would have to order my snacks from places like Staples. And the last time I checked, they didn’t have fruit. However, I could pay A WHOLE LOT MORE and get fruit trays from UNCG Catering. Really? I’m saving money by going to Wal-Mart and Food Lion for fruit, but I cannot because it’s not the NEW (BS) policy. And what’s even more funny is that I can go to Staples to get snacks, but I can’t go to Staples for printing, which REALLY doesn’t make any sense. See why I want to leave? Nothing makes sense. So, work is foggy, which is having an effect on the other areas of my life. Two weeks ago, I received a letter that my insurance company is no longer covering Eliquis, the blood thinner that I use for my clots. Now, I have to find a generic blood thinner that’s most likely less effective, at least from what I’m reading about my choices. And of course, I shared on this blog my struggles this year with Rebecca (my wife), so that’s just another layer of “fogginess” that I’m dealing with. At one point, I was just ready to leave all of this, find a job away from here in another state, and just start all over. That sounded so appetizing on so many different levels, although I’m sure I would miss our dog Laci. But even today on our walk, she smelled a spot she liked and started rolling around – not knowing that the spot was a pile of dog poop that someone didn’t pick up. It’s just one thing after another…and I’m just ready to do the Training and find a place somewhere in this country that would be happy to house such great work.  Okay, no more bitching and moaning…need to focus on the positive, right?


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