Another inspiring excerpt from “Discipline is Destiny: The Power of Self Control” by Ryan Holiday:
Queen Elizabeth’s father was, like Antoninus, not originally selected for greatness. He became king only by accident – due to the abdication of his brother in a fit of passion. Yet his impact on history would be enormous. It wasn’t simply that he led Britain through a terrible war alongside Churchill, but also because of the impact he had on the people around him. In conquering a crippling stutter, George would inspire generations of young people struggling with that difficulty. But more ordinarily – in a way that every single parent can – he achieved immortality and lasting influence through his daughter. While his power was constrained by the constitution and cancer struck him down at age fifty-six, his example loomed large over Elizabeth, not just during his lifetime, but every day since, as she asked herself, “What would my father have done?”
The same was for Cato the Younger, who in everything he did, everything he tried to be was to live up to the example, to honor the legacy of his great-great grandfather, that strict and austere Stoic, whom he never met. The same would go for countless generations since, who would look to both Catos as heroes. Some one hundred years after Cato’s death, Seneca would advise that we all “Choose ourselves a Cato,” a ruler to measure ourselves against. A model to inspire us to be what we’re capable of being. When Nero’s goons came to kill Seneca, he drew on Cato’s example for strength in the last moments of his life. Some 1,700 years after that, George Washington would model his entire life on Cato’s example, choosing his famous mantra from the mouth of his hero. The two men had never met Cato…but he made them stronger. His discipline stiffened their spine when it counted.
Cato and King George VI then, by being so strict with themselves, actually had the effect that many leaders, who are strict with their followers, fail to achieve: They made people better. To reach your destiny will require such a hero. But to truly fulfill it, you will need to become such a hero yourself – to live in such a way that you call others to reach their own. Is this not what make Antoninus so great? His example, his faithfulness, his piousness, it served him well. It was good for its own sake, but it also molded and shaped Marcus Aurelius. Antoninus did not have to be strict with his young charge. His strictness was contagious – as were all his other virtues.
As Longfellow wrote about Florence Nightingale and indeed all truly disciplined and wonderful people, “by their overflow / Raise us from what is low.” Think about Churchill in those dark days of World War II – his courage, his self-control, his coolness under pressure, it helped his country find theirs. That’s what great leaders do: They make people better. They help them become what they are. As it is written in the Bhagavad Gita, “The path that a great man follows become a guide to the world.” The self-disciplined don’t berate. They don’t ask for anything. They just do their job. They don’t shame either…except perhaps subtly by their own actions. In their presence we feel called to step up, to step forward, to reach deeper because they have shown that is possible.
“Happy is the man who can make others better, not merely when he is in their company, but even when he is in their thoughts,” Seneca wrote, speaking not only of Cato but all the men and women who inspired him. That’s the power of discipline. It makes you better…and then better still because of the positive effect it has on the world around you. We don’t all have to be Catos – again, the expression implies that we can’t. But we can be a positive force in our community. We can show our children, our neighbors, our colleagues, our employees what good choices look like. We can show what commitment looks like by showing up each day. We can show what it means to resist provocation or temptation. We can show how to endure. We can show how to be patient.
Maybe they’ll appreciate this now. Maybe they’ll hate us for it now. Maybe we’ll be celebrated, maybe we’ll be hated. We don’t control that. What’s up to us is that we are good. That we do right. That we conquer ourselves. We can’t force anyone else to do the same. But we can plant a seed. We can rest comfortably in our destiny, knowing that, eventually, inevitably, it’ll make a difference for someone. Because like courage, there is something contagious about discipline. The fire within is can burn bright enough to warm others. The light within us can illuminate the path for others. What we accomplish can make things possible for others. It starts with us, it’s starts within us. But it doesn’t stop there. Our discipline can be contagious…and if it isn’t, how strong it it really?
Be your best.
Make others better.