The Dream Dean

Yesterday, I received a message from my doctor’s office to let me know that my results came in. For what, you might ask? To see why I’m having pain in my right arm/shoulder.

Well, it turns out that I have a partial rotator cuff tear in my right arm/shoulder. Not good! I’ve been told that it’s most likely an overuse injury. Yeah, I could see that. I’m playing on two USTA Doubles Tennis Teams this Spring, playing pickleball once or twice a week, and golf once or twice a week. Overuse? Nah. And I had planned to join two USTA Teams this summer, plus I am playing tennis, golf, pickleball, and bowling in the North Carolina Senior Games. And now a partial tear of my rotator cuff.

Why am I sharing this with you? Here’s the start of my reflection…

When I retired in June 2023, I watched lots and lots of retirement videos talking about retiring early so that you can enjoy life now (in your “go-go” 60’s), rather than retire in your 70’s or later – when it’s more likely to be too late. All the advice-givers encourage us to enjoy life to the fullest.

My retirement, since June 2023, has consisted of:

• Stage 4 Prostate Cancer (2023).
• Removal of four abscessed teeth (2024).
• Significant increases in my Cholesterol, A1C, Blood Glucose, and excess Protein in my urine (2025).
• And now a tear in my rotator cuff (2025).

Since retirement (which happened when I turned 60), I went from taking one pill (for blood clots) to now multiple pills and injections. I’m taking medicines that leave me tired all of the time, gives me hot flashes every few hours throughout the day and night, and has lowered my testosterone to ZERO (I even cry at RomComs now). Retirement has been a challenging journey, one that has presented me with challenges I never dreamed of facing two years ago.

The reflective moment today is that I realize that I cannot stop living. I feel like if I stop moving, if I stop creating, if I stop connecting, if I stop growing, I’ll be dead. In a conversation with a friend earlier today – who is going through several physical and medical issues as well – we both wondered why we were both going through these challenges. However, after our brief conversation and contemplation, we were both extremely grateful to be able to get out of bed for another morning. And in this, I realized, I still have work to do.

I plan to use this blog to share my journey with others, good and bad. If my sharing helps ONE PERSON with their life, then I feel like I’ve done good in the world. Earlier this morning, my wonderful therapist was reading a document I recently created about finding purpose and meaning, and there was a question to ask yourself at the end of each day that caught his eye:

“Did I do something today that made me better, made someone else better, or made the world a little better?”

Although this question is used as a reflection at the end of the day, what if you started the day with this question:

“What will I do today to make me better, make someone else better, or make the world a little better?”

If you started with this question, how would you go about your day?

The physical and medical issues I’m dealing with helps me feel grateful for what I have, not for what I don’t have. Every day is an opportunity to do good. I just finished an interesting book today; one of the inspiring messages I got from the book is this – “Be a Guide, Not a Guru.” Help people on their journey through my journey. Share what I’m doing, not what I think everyone else should do. And that’s what I want to do with this blog now.

I hope that you can find inspiration in what I’m learning and sharing, with the hopes of making a difference. Please share your thoughts as you take this journey with me by sending a response to anything I post on this blog.

Let’s do this together.