the year of you, day 59

Sunday, February 28, 2021 (Day 59)

New Meditation Music: Take Me Tenderly: Liquid Mind (6:56) –

Question: Write the first memory that comes to mind associated with each of these words (or if time is tight, choose one):

  • Birthday
  • Hug
  • School
  • Family

Answer: Ah, another memories question. At least it’s something that I can answer pretty easily.

  • Birthday – Seems like I’ve tried to erase the memories of my birthdays from my mind because I’m not a big fan for celebrating them. Every day is a good day, so I don’t feel the need to celebrate my “birth” day any more than other days during the year. First memory? One year when I was a kid, I have the chicken pox for my birthday, so that was a memory. Don’t remember much from it, but didn’t have people over, so that was a plus. Even big number birthdays (10, 20, 30, 40, and 50) don’t have significance for me, with very few memories from each. Works for me.
  • Hug – First memory of a hug? Can’t think of one. Definitely treasure hugs with my daughters, most times with my wife. Past occurrences with previous relationships? Blocked from my memory. Hugs from family growing up? I’m sure they happened, but no fond memories from anyone from my family. Is that sad?
  • School – Remembered being bullied when I was in middle school, so that was a memory. I also remember in high school when I wrote a paper that had to be 1,000 words written – and I did it on a front and back of a sheet of paper. Got an “F” on the paper (Mr Hahn). Dad came in and had Mr Hahn count the words – ended up being 1000 words. Got a good grade on paper. Believe it or not, those are the only two memories I had from K-12 school.
  • Family – This is one area that I do have a fond memory. I remember when we would visit my grandmother, one of the things I always was told to do was rake the leaves in her yard in the Fall. It was one of those activities I didn’t mind doing because I was doing it by myself. And my “OCD” tendencies came out because I had to make sure to get EVERY leaf off the ground! My reward wasn’t money – she always had Bryers Strawberry Ice Cream waiting for me! I loved the fact that they had chunks of strawberries in the ice cream. And having that as the reward was definitely worth it!

Bonus: February 29th Question and February Reflection

February 29th Question:

  • What is a missed opportunity from your past you wish you’d taken? I don’t know if I have missed an opportunity from my past because every decision has led me to this point in my life. Professionally, I can’t say that there’s a job I wish I had stayed at longer or had and opportunity to get. I had several interviews for positions over the years – and not once did I come away saying I wish they had given me a chance. Personally, I don’t know if it’s missed opportunities, but I wonder every now and then how my life trajectory would have changed if I ended up with a different partner, like with someone else instead of Colleen (ex-wife) and Rebecca (now wife). Don’t spend too much time on it, because I thinking about the great things that have happened, the two biggest being Amanda and Bethany (my daughters). I’m pretty content with the way things turned out, that’s for sure.

Reflection Question

  • What did I learn about myself this month? I don’t know if I learned anything about myself, but I did hear from my sister that she said she enjoyed learning more about me and what was going on in my head. That’s a positive. I know my past has helped shaped my present; now, it’s time to let go of the past and keep moving forward to a promising future.
  • Which of this month’s prompts were most challenging? The prompt that had me share about sexual abuse from a neighbor. Although I’ve been able to accept and share in limited spaces, sharing on a blog and writing about the experience took it to a different, more intimate level. But sharing it and its impact on my life was important for me to get through and move on. It’s one of those things that you can forgive but never forget. But I have moved on, for the most part.
  • Which of my answers most surprised me? I can’t say that there was anything that surprised me. I’m a pretty open person, sharing my life story (both the good and the bad) with my students over the years. I know that if I share and be vulnerable, they are more likely to share and be vulnerable. I’m just glad that I had the opportunity to share in this manner – and look forward to continuing this self-reflective journey for the next 10 months!
  • Based on what I’ve written, one action I want to take over the next month is…to continue to speak my truth. I think this next year will be important for my trajectory, both personally and professionally. I’m both nervous and excited about this next year, as I continue to evolve and develop Life Design Catalyst work at UNCG and/or the Life Design Institute/Life Design Catalyst Academy. I promise to continue to read and watch, then continue to learn, serve, and grow this work in lots of ways.


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