Thursday, June 17, 2021 (Day 168)
Relaxing Music for the week: Oneness: Liquid Mind (8:13) – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdKx9Sn-11k
Question: What did you imagine your relationships would be like at this stage of your life when you were younger?
Answer: To be honest, when I was younger, I wondered if I would EVER have a partner. I had my small circle of friends at home and even a smaller circle of friends at school, but other than that, I didn’t know many people. And I never dated anyone, up through high school. In fact, I had TWO people sign my yearbook when I graduated from high school. I’m one of those people that look back at high school with very few memories and without any feelings. There was only one girl that I really liked – and she only dated white guys – and she wouldn’t know me from a hole in the ground. I think my parents thought I was gay because I only hung out with guys (remember, these are the 70’s). Things got a little better once I got to college, but I never really established any meaningful relationships then either. As a diehard introvert, it was hard getting out and meeting people. But then I met alcohol – and I spent a lot of my time hanging out in bars. I met more people and started to come out of my shell, but then I felt like a fake because it wasn’t who I really wanted to be. I don’t even think I had a true girlfriend until I was in graduate school, when I met my ex-wife Colleen. I never thought I would get married (and now twice) and have kids – wasn’t even a thought in my mind when I was younger. I just wanted someone to like me. Looking back, I was one mixed up guy…and to most people, I’m probably still mixed up!